Last few weeks have been very difficult for me and my family as we have found out the worst news possible. The doctors were not telling us the truth. My dad’s tumour is so aggressive that even chemotherapy will not help, and nothing can be done. When I heard the news, I was sitting down and just couldn’t believe. It was a huge shock, as we all were staying so positive and we all believe d that after the operation and chemotherapy he would be fine…then just one conversation with a specialist and my world collapsed again!
It was just before Xmas, and we were planning to fly over. To add to our bad luck, my nephew had mumps, and as Olivia hasn’t had her MMR injects yet, we were not able to fly over either. I felt really sad, depressed and just couldn’t believe I cannot be with my family when they all need me the most. We celebrated Xmas, but only because of Isabelle and Olivia, and didn’t celebrate the coming of the New Year at all as for me it will probably be the year when my father dies. I cannot believe I am writing this down, that cannot be true!
We survived Xmas, and hopefully our girls had a lovely time. I was trying really hard to keep myself busy and we managed to do loads of stuff together. But in the evenings when they were in bed, I was on Skype to my mum and bother, and that always reminded me, it all was really happening and I was very sad, hopeless and desperate to go and be with them.
I was thinking hard how to do it, at the end daddy came with a solution that he would take Friday off and look after the girls till Monday. I have to say I didn’t hesitate one minute as that is the best option. I really don’t want Isabelle to se me and everyone very upset. She knows her loved granddad is at the hospital, but of course I cannot be telling her he might be dying soon. I booked the flight for early morning and will be back on Sunday evening. I am really looking forward to seeing them all. I really want to go and see my dad at the hospital. Will I be strong enough? I hope so; I need to be strong for him. I love him so much; he has been the greatest dad in the whole world and has always been there for me. Now it is time for me to be here for him.
I am very scared, as I haven’t seen him since the operation, and according to what my mum and brother say, it will be a huge shock for me. I am terrified I will be just crying when I see him and will run away… hopefully not.
If I had a magic ring, I would wish just one thing… Can you guess what that would be?